Under New Management : Marriage.

This evening my sister, her SIL, her SIL's cousin and i went to a wedding, my cousin's daughter wedding. As usual it was very happening, mak cik2 sibuk memasak + mengupdate story masing2 di dapur, pak cik2 sibuk menyambut tetamu, borak2, makan, jalan2 kejap and then makan balik. (Yelah, what else yg diorg kena buat kan? Hehe). But today's wedding was a bit different than the usual wedding because they have Majlis Khatam AlQuran sekali. So tadi lepas Zohor was the akad nikah and then followed by Majlis Belulut(kata org swk). Majlis belulut ni is for the pengantin and org2 yg khatam Quran tadi tu mcm pre-bersanding. Diorg akan di make-up cantik2, pakai handsome2, and then akan duduk kt ruang rumah yg mmg dh dikhaskan utk diorg. Tadi diorang ada 6 orang x silap yg khatam, semuanya younger than me, and yg cute nya ada 2 girls i think aged around 9-10yo join sekali. So tadi lepas akad nikah, org ramai makan2 and dah sudah majlis belulut started with kompang. Kompang in the house first and then diorg start pusing satu kampung. Yg kompang naik lori khas diorg, yg org2 khatam naik Hilux(a compact truck) which has been provided with chairs untuk diorg duduk. So, pusingla satu kampung berarak. Orang kampung pun mula sorang2 keluar dr rumah to laman rumah/beranda nak tgk diorg berarak, lambai2 and ambik2 gmbr. Fun kan? I had this experience too when I was 9yo khatam Quran, pusing kampung. Beeeesttt! Hehehe. I dont think there's this kind of event/adat at other places so I am so proud that we have this kind of unique event & adat. And ada lagi event for tomorrow ni but xlarat nk cerita our style satu2.



Dari awal bulan 12 until now macam x henti2 org kahwin. Last week baru je anak jiran belakang rumah kahwin. She is 5years younger than me!!! Tergugat uollz. Hahaha. And boleh pulak tu I was the pengapit sbb mak dia suruh. Sabar je lah.

But, lately bila attend any wedding, I am very interested to hear the Khutbah Nikah which selalunya jurunikah tu lah yg akan cakap. Hehehe. Sebelum ni, dtg wedding yg interested lebihnya nak tgk pengantin, tgk pelamin, tgk hantaran. Akad nikah tu jarang lah dtg sbb I knw lama, pstu kena duduk diam, pstu org ramai, panas lagi, rs x sabar2 nk tgg habis. Why very interested? Sebabnya I feel that to have a wonderful marriage, the core is to knw n understand what is marriage, what is our responsibility lepas ni, how will marriage affects our life, kenapa marriage x boleh buat main2 suka2, and byk lg. If we dont understand, mcmana nk hidup bahagia. I made a research on kes cerai, "menurut rekod Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor, sepanjang tahun 2000 hingga 2008 terdapat 81,115 aduan rumah tangga dengan purata 24 kes sehari. Dalam tempoh itu juga seramai 26,421 pasangan telah bercerai dengan purata 8 kes sehari.".Scary kan? Tu 5years ago pny satistik, skrg? And i have a friend who was once had practical dkt law firm yg handle kes cerai and she said everyday mmg ada je org dtg nk cerai, kdg2 cerai sbb yg nonsense gila. Lepas tu our society nowadays, what is their priorities when it comes to wedding? Answer : Duit hantaran mahal2, majlis grand2, reception 3,4,5,6,7 banyaknya. Bersusah payah nak plan itu ini nak kahwinnya pstu senang2 je n cerai. Which sebaliknya, marriage tu lah yg sepatutnya dijadikan proses yg mudah but, penceraian adalah perkara yg paling susah nak buat.


Berbalik to khutbah nikah tadi, among points i found interesting were:
1) Isteri hendaklah sentiasa berusaha meningkatkan daya keterampilan dan juga ilmu pengetahuan.
Why? Among major reasons bercerai is third party. The husband dah mula abaikan isteri g dkt org lain. But when I see our pattern of wedding among wives nowadays, bila dh kahwin dh malas nk jaga diri, kt rumah pakai baju tuu je, rambut dh x terurus, etc etc. Mcm, come on la, pakailah cun sikit ke, sexy sikit ke, hahaha, he is your husband kot kan. And we knw that men are more intersted on apa yg mereka tgk. Msti lah dia nk tgk yg cantik2, yg kemas, yg menarik. The wives pulak dh malas nak jaga semua tu, so, can you really sure your husband is satisfied with hw u look? Remember, they are always someone who is willing to do extra profession called flirting with your husband. Serious. I read this somewhere.
Next is ilmu pengetahuan. Eventhough kita wife kita duduk kt rumah, busy buat kerja rumah etc etc, x semestinya we dont have time nk tambah ilmu pengetahuan. Kalau xnak belajar sthg serious pn, try self help book, baca untuk diri sendiri. Ini tak, mostly free time tgk tv je. X salah but if there is sthg better to do, why dont just do it?


2) Isteri hendaklah meminta izin kepada suami terlebih dahulu sebelum melakukan sesuatu perkara.
This made me think, 'gilalah lepas ni kalau dh kahwin kena mintak permisssion suami dulu most of the things i want to do'. Ye lah, skrg ni nk buat apa2 buat je, pergi mana ke beli apa ke jumpa sapa ke, xpayah nak mntk permission. What if one day my friend yg lama gila xjmpa tiba2 ajak keluar pstu nk mntk permission my husband, call x angkat msg x reply, cane? Kenalah cancel jugak xboleh nk buat apa eventhough nak gila n rasa nak sgt2 jumpa sbb xdpt permission keluar rumah. What if tetba ada sale for 1 hour je kan kat jusco ke nak pg tp xdpt permission lagi, xboleh la nk keluar? Uish. The power of a husband.
And then tetba td terbaca pasal puasa. Isteri xboleh puasa sunat tanpa minta izin suaminya terlebih dahulu. And I was like, 'eh ni puasa sunat kot, kena mntk izin jugak? kan benda sunat tu.' And the answer is, Yes, a wife must seek for her husband permission first bila husband ada kt rumah kalau nak puasa. Unless hsband outstation ke x tidur kt rumah then xpe. Why? Ohh, I think everyone knw perkara yg membatalkan puasa. Kalau married couple cane? And you knw a husband desire apa plg tinggi? Hehe. Gila kan? The power of a husband. Hehehe.


3) Isteri tidak harus membenarkan sesiapa masuk ke rumah tanpa izin suami sama ada keizinan secara terang atau secara mafhum walaupun orang berkenaan itu keluarga isteri sendiri.
I'll make this simple. A husband permission sgt penting. Ni family sendiri ni kot kan. Uish.




Banyak lagi tapi x larat nk tulis. Betapa beratnya responsibility bila dh kahwin ni. Bukan lelaki je yg berat. Sbb selalunya org fikir mcm nak kahwin lelaki lah yg plg bertanggungjawab, kena fikir makan minum, rumah, sediakan semuanya, ajar isteri but actually both parties sama adil. So, are we ready to take the responsibilities? To myself, you are 24 this year, this issue is no longer 'ohh nantilah fikir' kind of issue. Kalau esok lusa org masuk meminang ha macamana? Hahaha!






Y.O.Y.O

Perfectly Imperfect.

My name is Norsuzana Amelia.
My body isn't perfect, my face isn't smooth and flawless.
My hair doesn't always stay in place.
My tudung too.
My make-up gets messy sometimes.
Sometimes i'm selfish, sometimes i'm impatient.
I am sensitive.
I don't always say the right thing.
There are days that I tend to over-thinking over something and make it more complicated.
I cry over small things sometimes.
My cooking doesn't always taste good.
My choices aren't always the best choice when I shop.
Sometimes I end up shopping regretting the amount I spent over unnecessary things.
There are some nights I cry myself to sleep.
I know that I'm not good enough.
I am imperfect, but I am perfectly me.




Perfection or Faultless or Incomparable.
They never exist. They are illusion. And if you live with them, you are guaranteed to be a loser in anything you do.
Sometimes there are days I really mad with something, contohnya bila kena tunggu train and then the train arrived not as scheduled. Rasa marah gila sbb kena tunggu lama sebab dah bosan tahap gaban tunggu train pstu x smpi pulak. This is our nature. We always expecting things to be as we wished to, but sadly ladies and gentleman, our world/our life is not always perfect all the time. Life is imperfect. (Tapi kalau dh tiap2 hari trainnya asyik lambat je, mmg patutlah nk marah. Tapi marah je buat apa kan? Make a move. Buat report ke or find another alternative selain train to get you somewhere)

When I managed to learn about imperfection, I found my life more interesting. For example, cooking. Kita masak of course lah nak rasa bombastic yg perfect masam manis masin semua everything kan. So, sometimes tu bila i masak and rasa x sedap rasa cam give u gila, rasa macam 'owhhh, i am not good at making this' pastu cam xde mood dah. But then when I start to appreciate imperfection, bila jadi mcmtu, I will first, gelak kat diri sendiri sbb rasa ntah pape, and then macam fikir apa yang x kena, pstu terus set in mind 'oww pasni masak kena kurang sikit yg ni yg ni, oww pasni kena potong mcmni, owww psni kena masuk air sikit je, etc etc' (Very positive kan?) Haha. But, still, akan ada days yg I akan jadi xde mood jugak but how frequent i will behave negatively is now sgt2 kurang compare tu dulu. See, the power of appreciating imperfection! Hehehe.

So, friends, it is normal not to be perfect. Love ourselves. Jgn compre kita dgn org lain sbb kita rasa kita x perfect tp org yg kita tgk tu perfect. Never. Because nnt our self-confidence akan turun. Tetapi, I am not saying kalau something tu dah x perfect biar je lah. No. We can always work out with our imperfections. Contohnya kalau rasa muka x cukup cun ada je jerawat, then start lah learn your skin and belajar apa yg patut dibuat. Because the nature nak cantik, nak lawa, nak handsome etc are always inside diri kita. The message I'm trying to convey here is, it is okay we are not perfect, our skin berminyak ke apa, it's okay, never lose our confidence, jgn rasa rendah diri, jgn rasa malu2, jgn jadi negative. Instead, appreciate that kita ada imperfection, make fun of it, sbb bila kita appreciate we'll create a positive feeling and so this positivity will later results in positive outcome too. Contohnya lama2 kita pun positive nk jadikan our skin better, tup tup tetba dh jaga betul2 dh cun macam scarlet johannson ke, jolie ke, beyonce ke. Hehehe.


Kenapa tiba2 hari ni nk cerita pasal imperfection? Sebab sometimes I forget that I have imperfections and so do other people. Bila lupa mulalah moody. Haih Suzana, you are not perfect pon jugak sebenarnya. Nak moody lebih apasal?



" Be comfortable with our imperfections, because that makes us unique and that is the true essence of beauty "






Y.O.Y.O
(Ada org tanya why Y.O.Y.O, I said XOXO gossip girl, I YOYO sbb I good girl. Hehe)

Habit.

Have you heard about "It takes 21 days to form a new habit"

?

??

???


Pernah ke x pernah? Kalau x pernah maknanya buruklah tabiat tu. Hehehe. Xdalah, just kidding! ;)


Ok, so 'habit' will be the topic im going to discuss today. Eceyy. Why? Sebab I need to form a new habit. There are some lifestyles i have right now that need changes. So, bila macam fikir2 and dh nak start a new habit ni kan, i terbaca pasal benda 21 days tu. Waktu tu macam 'wow, this is good. 21days je alahai.. xlama pon sebenarnya'. Tapi, disebabkan i am that kind of person yg akan nak tau kenapa diorg ckp mcmtu, so, i called my CBFF (Cyber BoyFriend Forever), Mr Google and asked him 'Have you heard it takes 21 days to form a habit?'. And below is his answer.



This 21 days theory sebenarnya datang bila ada seorg plastic surgeon noticed that on average, it took 21 days for amputees(orang yg dh lost his/her limb)to adjust to the loss of a limb and he argued that people take 21 days to adjust to any major life changes. Since that lah dia mula discover theory 21days for new habit ni. And dari situ lah orang pun mula ckp2 psl theory ni.

And then they say brain does not accept ‘new’ data for a change of habit unless it is repeated each day for 21 days (without missing a day).", mengikut kajian pada neuro neuro yg ada kt otak kita. So, kiranya mmg kena continuous 21 days buat sthg tu xboleh miss lgsg br lah akan jd new habit.

But, theory ni x adalah 100% betul. Sebab, it depends on what kind of new habit we want to develop. Kalau setakat nak form habit nak bangun pukul 6 tiap2 pagi, x adalah susah kot compare to nak form habit everyday nak buat sit up 100kali. Sbb sit up requires more dedication, meaning, kita nak kena cari spot yg bagus nk buat sit up n then the action akan melibatkan anggota badan yg byk, kalau betul2 bersungguh2 baru lah boleh jadi habit.



So, what do you say? Theory 21days boleh pakai ke tak? Let's conduct some experiments! Hehe. So, from today onwards i wanna form new habits which are;

1) Cuci muka sebelum tidur complete with the other skincare yang sepatutnya.Everyday! (Y? I am sangaaaat malas nak stay lama2 in the bathroom before going to bed. Sigh. Pastu bila muka dh start tmbh jerawat baru nak spend stgh jam cuci muka dgn perasaan menyesal x jaga muka!)

2) Minum air 8-9glass sehari. (Y? Sangatlah malas nk pergi ke toilet ulang2 kali bila minum air byk2. Hahaha. Teruk perangai. I knw that my body kurang air and it's not good for my health)

3) Gosok gigi lepas tu wajib kumur dgn listerine! (Kan iklan kata, menggosok sahaja tidak mencukupi. Xnak lah gigi cepat buruk nnt kena pki gigi palsu. Dah la kena byr beli gigi palsu,nak kena beli polident lagi nk lekatkan gigi tu. Habislah duit! Hehe)




Okay, tu je kot for now. So, jom buat habit baru yang bagus untuk kita! Weeeeeeeee :D




Notes: Kalau nak baca lagi details > http://www.spring.org.uk/2009/09/how-long-to-form-a-habit.php & http://www.kalavati.org/change-of-habit.html




Y.O.Y.O

Page One.

Bismillahhirrahmanirrahim.


Assalamualaikum.


Hello Hello Hello!



Akhirnya, setelah entah berapa ribu azam agaknya nk menyambung part time acivity menulis blog akhirnya hari ini 24th january, mission berjaya. Yeay! Hehehe.


Actually I dont remember my blog username & password for blog suzanaherrera tu sbb dh lama sgt x bukak, so i made a new one, named 'PearlMilkTea'. Pearl milk tea is my fav since umur berapa entah x ingat. At that time, pearl milk tea x famous pon, and ada 2 tpt je i selalu beli, kt kuching n bintulu. Kat kuching, orang yg buat the milk tea guna traditional method, shake the tea, bungkuskan dgn penuh keazaman that it will taste good. Skrg? Kalau jalan kat mall or mana2 ada je jumpa pearl milk tea, tp xbest dah sebab mostly semua pki machine je buat, rasa pun lain. :(



Okay, so, what makes me writing/blogging again?


After a thousand discoveries about myself, i found that my heart/soul and my mind will have a really great communication by writing and reading. Reading here means, baca balik apa yg i dah tulis tu. What i'm trying to say is, when i write, macam apa yang i tulis tu sgt sincere from the heart, it's like writing from the heart, macam a songwriter tulis lyrics from his/her heart lah (but obviously i am not a songwriter because if i am a songwriter, mestilah dah tulis lirik kot skrg than tulis kt blog ni yg xdapat duit pon. Hehe) So, begitulah perasaannya. And then, why mind? Okay, when i write kan n then dh siap dah la tulis2 ni pstu bila i start to read, at that moment mcm boleh rasa yg 'okay, now my mind starts working on what i wrote'. So thats why lah i said by writing and reading apa yg i dah tulis, i can feel the communication between my mind and my heart/soul. Yeah, deep sgt topic ni tapi nak try jugak sampaikan the message. X faham sudah! Hehe.


And then, i realized that, no one on this earth akan dengar everything you want to say/share. Your loved ones? No, no, no. Cinta 100% sekalipun, trust me akan ada masanya we ourselves or our partner/friends/family will be busy with our/their own stuff or problems and time tu nanti will come the moment where 'okay, bukannya xnak dengar tp mcm skrg not a good time to discuss/share/listen and bg feedback yg buat kita/diorg 100% satisfy'. So, i strongly believed that the only person yg akan dgr everything bila2 masa is diri kita sendiri. You know 'the voice within'? Yes, that's the voice kita bercakap dgn diri sendiri. And thats my point here. Apa? X faham jugak? Xpe, kia ada translator to tamil. Hehehe.


So, what topics i'll write on this blog?


Nothing specific. Just random things, apa2 yang i akan rasa nak tulis, rasa nak share or patut share.


Baiklah, udah2 le menulisnye ni. Nak supper. Bye!



Y.O.Y.O