This evening my sister, her SIL, her SIL's cousin and i went to a wedding, my cousin's daughter wedding. As usual it was very happening, mak cik2 sibuk memasak + mengupdate story masing2 di dapur, pak cik2 sibuk menyambut tetamu, borak2, makan, jalan2 kejap and then makan balik. (Yelah, what else yg diorg kena buat kan? Hehe). But today's wedding was a bit different than the usual wedding because they have Majlis Khatam AlQuran sekali. So tadi lepas Zohor was the akad nikah and then followed by Majlis Belulut(kata org swk). Majlis belulut ni is for the pengantin and org2 yg khatam Quran tadi tu mcm pre-bersanding. Diorg akan di make-up cantik2, pakai handsome2, and then akan duduk kt ruang rumah yg mmg dh dikhaskan utk diorg. Tadi diorang ada 6 orang x silap yg khatam, semuanya younger than me, and yg cute nya ada 2 girls i think aged around 9-10yo join sekali. So tadi lepas akad nikah, org ramai makan2 and dah sudah majlis belulut started with kompang. Kompang in the house first and then diorg start pusing satu kampung. Yg kompang naik lori khas diorg, yg org2 khatam naik Hilux(a compact truck) which has been provided with chairs untuk diorg duduk. So, pusingla satu kampung berarak. Orang kampung pun mula sorang2 keluar dr rumah to laman rumah/beranda nak tgk diorg berarak, lambai2 and ambik2 gmbr. Fun kan? I had this experience too when I was 9yo khatam Quran, pusing kampung. Beeeesttt! Hehehe. I dont think there's this kind of event/adat at other places so I am so proud that we have this kind of unique event & adat. And ada lagi event for tomorrow ni but xlarat nk cerita our style satu2.
Dari awal bulan 12 until now macam x henti2 org kahwin. Last week baru je anak jiran belakang rumah kahwin. She is 5years younger than me!!! Tergugat uollz. Hahaha. And boleh pulak tu I was the pengapit sbb mak dia suruh. Sabar je lah.
But, lately bila attend any wedding, I am very interested to hear the Khutbah Nikah which selalunya jurunikah tu lah yg akan cakap. Hehehe. Sebelum ni, dtg wedding yg interested lebihnya nak tgk pengantin, tgk pelamin, tgk hantaran. Akad nikah tu jarang lah dtg sbb I knw lama, pstu kena duduk diam, pstu org ramai, panas lagi, rs x sabar2 nk tgg habis. Why very interested? Sebabnya I feel that to have a wonderful marriage, the core is to knw n understand what is marriage, what is our responsibility lepas ni, how will marriage affects our life, kenapa marriage x boleh buat main2 suka2, and byk lg. If we dont understand, mcmana nk hidup bahagia. I made a research on kes cerai, "menurut rekod Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor, sepanjang tahun 2000 hingga 2008 terdapat 81,115 aduan rumah tangga dengan purata 24 kes sehari. Dalam tempoh itu juga seramai 26,421 pasangan telah bercerai dengan purata 8 kes sehari.".Scary kan? Tu 5years ago pny satistik, skrg? And i have a friend who was once had practical dkt law firm yg handle kes cerai and she said everyday mmg ada je org dtg nk cerai, kdg2 cerai sbb yg nonsense gila. Lepas tu our society nowadays, what is their priorities when it comes to wedding? Answer : Duit hantaran mahal2, majlis grand2, reception 3,4,5,6,7 banyaknya. Bersusah payah nak plan itu ini nak kahwinnya pstu senang2 je n cerai. Which sebaliknya, marriage tu lah yg sepatutnya dijadikan proses yg mudah but, penceraian adalah perkara yg paling susah nak buat.
Berbalik to khutbah nikah tadi, among points i found interesting were:
1) Isteri hendaklah sentiasa berusaha meningkatkan daya keterampilan dan juga ilmu pengetahuan.
Why? Among major reasons bercerai is third party. The husband dah mula abaikan isteri g dkt org lain. But when I see our pattern of wedding among wives nowadays, bila dh kahwin dh malas nk jaga diri, kt rumah pakai baju tuu je, rambut dh x terurus, etc etc. Mcm, come on la, pakailah cun sikit ke, sexy sikit ke, hahaha, he is your husband kot kan. And we knw that men are more intersted on apa yg mereka tgk. Msti lah dia nk tgk yg cantik2, yg kemas, yg menarik. The wives pulak dh malas nak jaga semua tu, so, can you really sure your husband is satisfied with hw u look? Remember, they are always someone who is willing to do extra profession called flirting with your husband. Serious. I read this somewhere.
Next is ilmu pengetahuan. Eventhough kita wife kita duduk kt rumah, busy buat kerja rumah etc etc, x semestinya we dont have time nk tambah ilmu pengetahuan. Kalau xnak belajar sthg serious pn, try self help book, baca untuk diri sendiri. Ini tak, mostly free time tgk tv je. X salah but if there is sthg better to do, why dont just do it?
2) Isteri hendaklah meminta izin kepada suami terlebih dahulu sebelum melakukan sesuatu perkara.
This made me think, 'gilalah lepas ni kalau dh kahwin kena mintak permisssion suami dulu most of the things i want to do'. Ye lah, skrg ni nk buat apa2 buat je, pergi mana ke beli apa ke jumpa sapa ke, xpayah nak mntk permission. What if one day my friend yg lama gila xjmpa tiba2 ajak keluar pstu nk mntk permission my husband, call x angkat msg x reply, cane? Kenalah cancel jugak xboleh nk buat apa eventhough nak gila n rasa nak sgt2 jumpa sbb xdpt permission keluar rumah. What if tetba ada sale for 1 hour je kan kat jusco ke nak pg tp xdpt permission lagi, xboleh la nk keluar? Uish. The power of a husband.
And then tetba td terbaca pasal puasa. Isteri xboleh puasa sunat tanpa minta izin suaminya terlebih dahulu. And I was like, 'eh ni puasa sunat kot, kena mntk izin jugak? kan benda sunat tu.' And the answer is, Yes, a wife must seek for her husband permission first bila husband ada kt rumah kalau nak puasa. Unless hsband outstation ke x tidur kt rumah then xpe. Why? Ohh, I think everyone knw perkara yg membatalkan puasa. Kalau married couple cane? And you knw a husband desire apa plg tinggi? Hehe. Gila kan? The power of a husband. Hehehe.
3) Isteri tidak harus membenarkan sesiapa masuk ke rumah tanpa izin suami sama ada keizinan secara terang atau secara mafhum walaupun orang berkenaan itu keluarga isteri sendiri.
I'll make this simple. A husband permission sgt penting. Ni family sendiri ni kot kan. Uish.
Banyak lagi tapi x larat nk tulis. Betapa beratnya responsibility bila dh kahwin ni. Bukan lelaki je yg berat. Sbb selalunya org fikir mcm nak kahwin lelaki lah yg plg bertanggungjawab, kena fikir makan minum, rumah, sediakan semuanya, ajar isteri but actually both parties sama adil. So, are we ready to take the responsibilities? To myself, you are 24 this year, this issue is no longer 'ohh nantilah fikir' kind of issue. Kalau esok lusa org masuk meminang ha macamana? Hahaha!
Y.O.Y.O
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